Todays Laugh.
Todays Laugh.
A farmer stopped by the local garage to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.
On the way home he stopped at B & Q and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the market and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the market he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.
While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to Church Lane?'
The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to the lane I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot.'
The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?'
'Why thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.
On the way he says 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time.
The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, 'I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me.... How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?'
The farmer said, 'Jesus lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?'
The old lady replied, 'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens!!
On the way home he stopped at B & Q and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the market and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the market he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.
While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to Church Lane?'
The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to the lane I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot.'
The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?'
'Why thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.
On the way he says 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time.
The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, 'I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me.... How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?'
The farmer said, 'Jesus lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?'
The old lady replied, 'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens!!
Put you plans in the nail scarred hands.
Re: Todays Laugh.
HAHAHAHA........... Nice! I needed that.
- Hognutz
- Gobbler Nation
- Posts: 8210
- Joined: June 28th, 2011, 5:29 pm
- Location: S.E. Wisconsin. Global Flatulater
Re: Todays Laugh.
May I assume you're not here to inquire about the alcohol or the tobacco?
I am the man from Nantucket.
“Leave the gun, take the cannoli” -Clemensa
When attacked by a group of clowns...Go for the Juggler!!
I am the man from Nantucket.
“Leave the gun, take the cannoli” -Clemensa
When attacked by a group of clowns...Go for the Juggler!!
- HunterGKS
- Gobbler Nation
- Posts: 5575
- Joined: January 2nd, 2013, 5:12 pm
- Location: North Central Ohio
Re: Todays Laugh.
So Billie, tell us....................Did she give you back your chickens??
George
YOU KNOW YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOUR BODY STILL. YOUR HEART JUST HASN'T CAUGHT ON.
.17 = NITRO OF THE RIMFIRE WORLD USAF 1969-1973
YOU KNOW YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOUR BODY STILL. YOUR HEART JUST HASN'T CAUGHT ON.
.17 = NITRO OF THE RIMFIRE WORLD USAF 1969-1973
- Hognutz
- Gobbler Nation
- Posts: 8210
- Joined: June 28th, 2011, 5:29 pm
- Location: S.E. Wisconsin. Global Flatulater
Re: Todays Laugh.
Baahahaha!!
May I assume you're not here to inquire about the alcohol or the tobacco?
I am the man from Nantucket.
“Leave the gun, take the cannoli” -Clemensa
When attacked by a group of clowns...Go for the Juggler!!
I am the man from Nantucket.
“Leave the gun, take the cannoli” -Clemensa
When attacked by a group of clowns...Go for the Juggler!!
- soiltester
- Gobbler Nation
- Posts: 3722
- Joined: March 31st, 2015, 8:04 am
- Location: Gaffney SC
Re: Todays Laugh.
MMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNN
Atta' boy Billie
Atta' boy Billie
ever wonder where the white goes when the snow melts??
- Hognutz
- Gobbler Nation
- Posts: 8210
- Joined: June 28th, 2011, 5:29 pm
- Location: S.E. Wisconsin. Global Flatulater
Re: Todays Laugh.
I bet you did, Billie!
May I assume you're not here to inquire about the alcohol or the tobacco?
I am the man from Nantucket.
“Leave the gun, take the cannoli” -Clemensa
When attacked by a group of clowns...Go for the Juggler!!
I am the man from Nantucket.
“Leave the gun, take the cannoli” -Clemensa
When attacked by a group of clowns...Go for the Juggler!!
Re: Todays Laugh.
Always great to add a little humor!
- HunterGKS
- Gobbler Nation
- Posts: 5575
- Joined: January 2nd, 2013, 5:12 pm
- Location: North Central Ohio
Re: Todays Laugh.
I was hoping you'd pick up on that one.
George
YOU KNOW YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOUR BODY STILL. YOUR HEART JUST HASN'T CAUGHT ON.
.17 = NITRO OF THE RIMFIRE WORLD USAF 1969-1973
YOU KNOW YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOUR BODY STILL. YOUR HEART JUST HASN'T CAUGHT ON.
.17 = NITRO OF THE RIMFIRE WORLD USAF 1969-1973
- HunterGKS
- Gobbler Nation
- Posts: 5575
- Joined: January 2nd, 2013, 5:12 pm
- Location: North Central Ohio
Re: Todays Laugh.
Not to that old lady. She said he was GOOOOOOODDDDD!!!!
George
YOU KNOW YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOUR BODY STILL. YOUR HEART JUST HASN'T CAUGHT ON.
.17 = NITRO OF THE RIMFIRE WORLD USAF 1969-1973
YOU KNOW YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOUR BODY STILL. YOUR HEART JUST HASN'T CAUGHT ON.
.17 = NITRO OF THE RIMFIRE WORLD USAF 1969-1973
Re: Todays Laugh.
Good one
The old "a bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush"
or is it,
A bird in each hand is worth one in the bush
The old "a bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush"
or is it,
A bird in each hand is worth one in the bush
- Chief Razor
- Posts: 499
- Joined: January 9th, 2022, 9:10 am
Re: Todays Laugh.
redarrow wrote: ↑September 14th, 2022, 8:57 am A farmer stopped by the local garage to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.
On the way home he stopped at B & Q and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the market and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the market he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.
While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to Church Lane?'
The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to the lane I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot.'
The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?'
'Why thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.
On the way he says 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time.
The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, 'I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me.... How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?'
The farmer said, 'Jesus lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?'
The old lady replied, 'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Outclass